Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
