She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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