I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
