sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
