toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
