How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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