i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
