would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
