She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
