I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
