I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
