I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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