Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
