What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
