I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
