You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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