i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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