i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
