would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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