You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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