i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
