Dual....:-)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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