'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize