can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
