you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
