I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
