im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
