Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
