I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
