you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
