i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
