Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
