fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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