her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
