The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just high enough for therapy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
