Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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