I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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