apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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