he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
