What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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