Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
