there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
