I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize