I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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