he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
