i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just made my gag reflex go away.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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