pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
