We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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