Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
