They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize