true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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