Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
