New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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