I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
