hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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