she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
