some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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