the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
