All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's shark week go big or go home
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
