If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
