I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
