I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
